Mum N Kid-im sorry

30th july...a baby was born..she was adopted buy a nun named Chang Fa..d baby was still sleeping in a basket when Chang Fa Shi brought her back to malacca from KL..d basket was carried by their maid...it was 2am in d morning when d baby reached home..she finali knew tat her home is a temple,Cheng Meng Am...she never regret staying there..she knew tat's her home..d place where she'll get shelter,food,clothes..evrthg tat she needs...she wanted to thx Chang Fa Shi bt she couldn't..she's jz a baby..
The baby grew up fast...she's finally 5years old..she was suppose to call d nun "sifu"..tats wt othr ppl used to call a nun..bt d baby called d nun as "ah heng"...a name to respect her sifu..Ah Heng hold her hand everyday to school-kindergarten..brought food to her every recess..chicken rice..fried noodles..soups..diff day diff dishes..aftr eating,d kid gone to d playground n played wit her frns without giving Ah Heng a gudbye kiss..without hugging her..without saying I LOVE YOU to her..yet..d nun gave d kid a smile n walk away with her hands full with dishes,bowls n etc..without any complains..all she wants is to c d kid happy n enjoy herself in school..back home,homework time..d kid will sit right infont of the TV n watch cartoons non-stop....thn Ah Heng will come towards d kid frm d back n twist her ear saying "wts d tym nw??no id to do homeworks??get ur bag n take out all ur homeworks n do it now!!" 5days in a week,d kid wil get to listen to d same sentence..n yt..d nun wil stil guide her in her homeworks..all d kid cn do is to sit dwn quietly n finsh al her homeworks-(in her mind thkin."i cn play aftr doin al d homeworks..yay~")
All d way up to d age of 7,Ah Heng had registered her beloved kid to d nearest primary school-SK CHIJ(1)...all d othr kids look at d nun in a way..y??cz a nun is without hair..d kid got frustrated n stared at d other kids..in her heart saying,"so wts if my mum is botak??she's still a lovely mum..bet ur mum wont b as lovely as my mum,bluek!!" hmm...wat a kid huh??a kid at d age of 7 noes how to protect her mum although she doesnt reali call her mum..well..in her heart,tat it..no one can replace Chang Fa Shi..she'll oways b d kid's mum..d kid was in 2nd class..al d way up to standard5..n for d last year,she went up to d first class-6M.."Heng,i get num3 in my class..im goin to 6M next year!! r u hapi??r u??" n she replied,"waa...my kid so smart..next year UPSR d..must study harder alright?if u get 4As,il treat u smth special,love u"
Since tat day...d kid reali studied hard..She aimed 4As..n yt,tats her results..she cried all d way home...n mum says,"hey babe,y r u crying??how's ur result??" n thn d kid replied,"im waiting for ur special thg..wts tat??i get d results u wan!!" mum says,"im so proud of u..lets go to secret recipe for dinner,ok" n d kid replied,"o yeay!!! secret recipe..woohoo!!!" The kid did nt even say a word thank you to d nun..jz a smile wil do..well..Ah Heng did not say anyth,no compliments,no complaints,no nth..
It was d year 2005,n d kid,finally reached Form1..new uniforms..new BATA shoes..new bags..evrth's new..she was in 3rd class..listed as Top3 classes..she was all alone..no new friends..no nth..sitting all by herself in a corner of d class..frm thr,she made new friends..she was hapi again..she told her mum tat she had made new friends in secondary schl..evrth's nrml until she was in Form3..PMR year..Dec 24th was d result day..n she cried..straight As??whoa..congrates..but,3As only..ONLY 3As???d kid ran all d way back to home..hide herself in her room and cried all day..n here comes her mum.."r u ok??u've done ur best..dun wori anymore..PMR is nt imprtnt..SPM ul get a better results alright??" n she hugs d kid in her arms..Time past fast...it was 2008 oredi..n d kid was in Form4..studied in a mix stream class..without BIO bt wit ACC...d kid wanted to go for pure sc class..bt in d end,she maintained in d mix stream.."Next year SPM..i must study reali hard in order to achieve my dream.."d kid said..When she was in Form5..alomost a month to SPM.."5As wil b in my hand..hahaha" she laughed..n d results was disappointing..She called her mum n sid sorry to her..sorry tat she didnt achieved as wt she promised.
It was d year 2010..d kid stil confused wit her studies..Form6 or college life??well..she had decided to ask her mum abt it..she wanted to go Utar at Kampar,Perak.Mum has oredi agreed to let d kid go..its d kid's st chance to make her own decision..in d end,she had made up her mind to further up her studies at SEGI College at KL..Mum cried..The kid cried..both of thm had a tok..bt d kid didnt reali answer her mum..The kid doesnt want to c her mum continues to cry,tats y she agreed to go SEGI College.."mum,i love u..stop crying ok??ill go to d college u want me to" d kid spoke to herself..Mum was happy..mum was relieved..Mum did evrth fr d kid..
Today,24th April..mum scolded the kid.."y r u stil nt home yet??hu is tat guy sitting next to u??u purposely use tat car jz to ftch tat guy home??hu do u thk u r??driver??i buy d car fr u to ftch ppl,fr u to b ur frn's driver??" mum cut d phone..d kid had no chance to explain d real situation..d kid cried..d kid worried abt wt wil happen tomorrow..so nw..let d kid explain evrth..let d kid tel u d truth..nt face to face..bt here...

"Heng,i did nt purposely fetch him go back..i went out to pack food fr families..but i found it too early tats y i took a ride to othr places..its just a coincidence tat i fetched him from SKE back to his house..i knew who told tat thr's a guy sitting next to me..u cn b honest to me..if its her..thn let me noe..dun tel ah sam o othrs tat is ur frn who saw me..ur frn doesnt even noe me hw could he/she noe im ur kid..im nt saying u'r lying..bt i jz hope u'l tell me the truth..d guy tat i fetch is jz a frm of mine..no othrs..if u dun lets me hv frns wit guys..wt abt my college life later on??dun tel me tat u wil not allow me to work wit my guy frns??u told me to smile evrday..u told me to b frnly wit evry one...bt y whn i ftch a guy,u'l thk negatively? im old oredi..i noe hw to take care of myslf..i noe u worry about me..i noe u love me..n of cz,i love u too...lyk u said..loving sum1 no nid to show it out..r u gona control or stop me from communicating wit my guy friends?? y must u trust othrs more than to trust us,ur own family members?? u do nt hv to c our faces to continue ur life..u dont hv to..bt..must we oways look at ur faces to b a nrml human lyk othrs?? im jz telling out hw i feel..i hv no othr meaning..if u wana slap me,if u wana whack me o even if u wana canne me..i dun mind..bt il mind if u say im following jing nong's steps..im not..n i wont..il swear upon god tat i wont..mayb to u im gona b one of her shadow soon..bt seriously..i wont..il nvr do tat..if u could jz gv me a chance to realise wt mistake ive done,i promise u il study as high as i could..il prove to u..n i wont disappoint u again..sorry fr my mistakes..n lasty,i love u..
from ur kid-jingru-

FaLleN ApaRt

LOVE...CAN ANYONE DESCRIBE THE MEANING OF LOVE?PEOPLE DO SAY LOVE CANT BE QUESTIONED OR ANSWERED.WELL TO ME,LOVE IS JUST A HURTING GAME.IT IS EASY TO LOVE BUT IT IS HARD TO FORGET OR LET GO.

ITS BEEN TWO YEARS AND YET HE STILL APPEARS IN MY MIND.HE WAS SO INSANE WHEN I FIRST SAW HIM.WE WERE ONI FRIENDS,SHALL I SAY BASIC FRIENDS?FRIENDS THAT DIDNT TALK BUT JUST S SIMPLE SMILE?YEA..BASIC FRIENDS.WE DID NOT INTRODUCE OURSELVES.WE GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER THROUGH OUR FRIEND.SHE'S A BEST FRIEND TO ME.WELL,HE LIKES HER OF CAUSE.THEY STARTED CONTACTING EACH OTHER AND FINALLY THEY END UP A COUPLE.HOW SWEET HUH?AS TIME PASSES,FRIENDS OF FRIENDS TELL ME ABOUT HIS BAD POINTS.I DO NOT WANT MY FRIEND TO GET HURT,I TOLD HER EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM.SHE DOESNT WAN TO BELIEVE IT.SINCE THAT HAPPEN,I ASKED HIM RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FRIEND.HE WAS SPEECHLESS AS I SCOLDED HIM NICELY.I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS LOOKING INTO MY EYES UNTIL HE TOLD ME HE HAD A WEIRD FEELING WHEN HE STARES AT ME.I WAS HAPPY AS I THOUGHT HE WAS AFRAID OF ME.BUT,IM WRONG.HE TOLD ME HE LIKES ME.HE WANTED ME TO BE HIS SISTER.OK,I AGREED.I EXPECT HIM TO TREAT ME BETTER THAN PREVIOUSLY AS FRIENDS.WELL,HE DID TREAT ME GOOD.

AS TIME PASS,I COULDNT BELIEVE THAT I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM.I HIDE THIS FEELING BY MYSELF.UNTIL A DAY,HE WANT TO MEET UP.I THOUGHT IT WAS A NORMAL MEETING ANS HAVE A CHAT BY OURSELVES.NO! HE KISSED ME.HE HUGGED ME.AM I SUPPOSE TO BE HAPPY OR ANGRY?HAPPY THAT THE PERSON I LOVE KISSED ME.ANGRY THAT HE BETRAYED MY FRIEND.HE ASKED ME TO BE HIS PARTNER(GF).I ASKED HIM TO THINK PROPERLY BEFORE ASKING ME TO DO STUFFS THAT WILL HURT BOTH OF US.HE DOESNT CARE WHAT I SAY.HE JUST WANT ME TO BE HIS GF.HE LIKES ME SINCERELY OR WANT TO TAKE ADVANTAGES?OR HE WANTS ME TO BE HIS FLOATER(JZ TO ACCMPNY HIM)?I DONT KNOW AND I DONT CARE MUCH.AS LONG AS I KNOW I LIKE HIM.

DAY BY DAY,TIME BY TIME...I GET TO KNOW HE WAS JUST PLAYING ON ME.HE DOESNT REALLY LIKES ME.I WAS HURT.HURT IN THE SENSE THAT I ACCEPTED HIM.HOW CAN I BE SO STUPID TO ACCEPT SOMEONE THAT IS ACTUALLY TRYING TO PLAY ON ME?I DIDNT ASK HIM MUCH.I KEPT IT TO MYSELF.I ASKED FOR BREAK UP.HE SAID OKAY.WHAT?HE AGREED TOO.I CRIED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.IM STUPID HUH?YEA,I KNOW I AM...I STILL CANT LET HIM GO THOUGH ITS BEEN AWHILE...

(to be continued...)